Overcome Intrusive Thoughts
What Are Intrusive Thoughts?
Intrusive thoughts are involuntary, unwanted and distressing images, impulses, or thoughts that can be disturbing, recurring and persistent.
They usually revolve around common themes of harm, sex and religious blasphemy. They are distressing because they conflict with our core values and beliefs and can range from mildly annoying to full on terrifying.
Personally, I’ve had the experience of waiting for a train and wondering “What would it be like to jump on to the tracks?” This is clearly a ridiculous thought, unless I want to end my life. But I don't. It's just a curiosity about the unknown - what if. But it's possible to start a chain of thoughts - Do I want to end my life? Why would I think it if I don't want to? Am I suicidal? And so on…
It's important to understand that everyone has intrusive thoughts at some point in their life and that thinking about hurting yourself does not mean you are suicidal, and thinking about hurting someone you love does not make you a bad person, or mentally ill.
What Causes Intrusive Thoughts?
A certain amount of strange or unpleasant thoughts is natural - it's the way our minds work. We have an imagination that can go anywhere. When a stressful event happens in our life - perhaps losing a loved one or being fired from a job - this can make unpleasant thoughts worse and potentially spiral. We start to ask ourselves “Why am I thinking this way? What is wrong with me? Why am I such a bad person for thinking these things?” This in turn creates more stress and so the spiral deepens.
The content of intrusive thoughts can be a reflection of the culture or environment you live in. They often revolve around taboos of the society you I've in - things you shouldn't do, things that are frowned upon.
How to Overcome Intrusive Thoughts
Overcoming these patterns of thinking can be challenging, but there solutions.
Acceptance
If there is one thing you can do to make intrusive thoughts worse it is to fight them, to say “That's a bad thought, I shouldn't be thinking that and it must go away”. This is like putting out a fire with gasoline, it will only make it bigger. Instead, and quite paradoxically, by allowing the thought to do what it does, you will find it is quite short-lived. By saying, “Ok, the thought has returned and I'm going to allow it to run it's course, to say whatever it has to say or do whatever it has to do” it may last a few seconds, or minutes, but it will eventually leave. It may be uncomfortable, even to the point you feel like you might die - but when you get to the point you realise you are still alive your brain will learn that it is ok to think these thoughts and will not die.
Mindfulness
Mindfulness is bringing your attention to the present moment. It is using your senses to hear the sounds around you, to see what is in front of you and to feel all the sensations both internally and externally. Mindfulness allows us to recognise what is actually happening, as opposed to what we are imagining. You can practice mindfulness by activating your senses - hear whats entering your ears, see whats entering your eyes, smell what enters your nose, taste what's in your mouth and feel what's on your fingers.
Exposure Therapy
We conquer fear when we face it. This is similar to acceptance and is one of the most powerful ways of moving forward through life. Our natural instinct is to run away from that which is scary, dark or threatening. It takes courage to voluntarily face them, and we must have good reason for doing so, but there is treasure hidden in the dragon’s lair. One of my favourite quotes is “You will know what you truly care about in life by knowing what makes you angry or afraid”. By moving towards that which makes you afraid you will develop resilience, courage and a sense of purpose. You will become bigger than your thoughts and live more empowered as a result of facing them head on. You can start by allowing the thought in asking it “What are you trying to do for me? What do you want from me?”
Conclusion
If you have recurring unpleasant thoughts, understand there is nothing wrong with you. You are not damaged or mentally ill. Practice mindfulness on a daily basis - practice mindfulness breathing whenever you can - when making a cup of tea, when on the bus or listening to music. Understand you are bigger than your thoughts and you really can have any thoughts and you will still be alive when it is over! It might take some time but with practice and patience they will subside. Nothing lasts forever!
